Montessori

In the Arms of the Angel

When we chose a Montessori preschool for Katie, in August of 1997, we knew she was different from most children. We just didn't know how different or why she was different. We had tried taking her to our local YWCA for a mommy-and-me program but found that she would not join the other children in their activities. Since she was an only child, we thought it was important to enroll her somewhere to give her the opportunity to meet other children, but all of the preschools we visited seemed inappropriate.

Left: Maria Montessori

Our First Attempts

The directors we met proudly explained how all of the children were grouped by age and did exactly the same thing at exactly the same time. Katie didn't follow directions. The noise level in some of the classrooms was near our threshold of pain, and one thing we did know about Katie was that she had hypersensitive hearing. We also noticed children wandering or, in many cases, running around apparently unattended. We knew that Katie would not be safe. We had no real basis for this knowledge, it was just an instinct. In nine months, when we discovered the true nature of Katie's disability, we would learn never to doubt our instincts again. This time we were lucky.

Our knowledge of the Montessori Method was extremely limited three years ago. We knew that the children were not herded from one group activity to another, and given Katie's "independent" nature, we thought she might be better off in a Montessori setting. We also knew the age group was mixed, and this notion appealed to us since Katie was so advanced in some areas and so behind in others. Lastly, we knew that none of the other preschools we had seen were appropriate for Katie and we were near the end of our list of possibilities.

A New Attitude

When we met the director of the Montessori school, we tried our best to describe Katie's behavior to her. Though we know we are forgiven for our ignorance of Katie's specific issues, we now know, given the clarity of hindsight, that we did not adequately prepare our director for our daughter's entry into her program. The director impressed us in many ways, but one in particular stands out. We had heard other directors speak about what went on in their schools and had noticed that their main concern seemed to be whether or not Katie would "fit in" with their programs.

In contrast, the director of our Montessori school never used such terms. Instead, she wanted to know how her training and her environment would serve Katie's needs. How refreshing! We had found someone who did not believe that her goal was to make our kid look like everyone else's kid. In three months, this incredible woman would change our lives by giving us the key to understanding our wonderful, yet exasperating, daughter.

"Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel."

Socrates

Next, The Other Shoe Drops and we confront the reality of Katie's autism.